I see myself sometimes as a programmer &/or a worker who has all these options available–that there are all kinds of options available for interesting improvements in my life. Options that require practice and learning.
When I was a young programmer the most exciting thing was when I had some new programming toolkit to learn. Being younger, I didn’t really pay attention to time constraints and thus there was no associated stress. Now when I am presented with some new toolkit, my first thought is “how much time is this going to take and is it actually something that is going to be of maximum utility in filling our needs?”
When I was a young programmer I didn’t really think about the practical side of things–it was just exciting to learn something new.
There is room for improvement within the vein of operation, the toolkit I’m already tapping–this is mostly where I get excited about programming nowadays.
. . .
Programming is such a useful metaphor when it comes to my striving for personal improvement, my being. Being as operation, being as being in an operating system.
I operate in this vein of life, this domain of life. I operate in so many domains. I operate in a vein of marriage. Domain, vein… a vein is like something one might already be tapped into or might find. If one is tapped into a vein, if that be good, one should operate well in it.
I frequently see my marriage as some toolkit I’m participating in as a coprogrammer. My role as coprogrammer is to appreciate and use the good options available to me within this toolkit.
The immediate feature I conjure up is the accessibility of the comfort of skin. A lot of my thinking about marriage is about the tactile experience of it. It feels so good–it’s emotional nutrition–to touch my husband’s back. His skin is so smooth and warm. I hold him in long hugs. I feel healed and absorbed.
I recently asserted more features of the marriage toolkit by asking my coprogrammer husband if he would do some physical volunteer activities with me, fun things to help the world and our relationship at the same time. So now we help the APL’s dogs and explore streams for the Metroparks’ Watershed Protection program.
There are recreational options in this toolkit, too, like watching movies and the enjoyment of talking about them together. Like listening to music together, talking about it and learning more stuff about each other.
Learning so much stuff about each other. I love learning.