I bombard myself with chores and “should be doing” and “should have done” thoughts and even my rigorous adherence to schedule, although useful, has still not alleviated worries about items I feel I “should have gotten done” by now. A couple months ago I assigned myself a writing & spirituality chore: write about “ways of being” twice monthly on Sundays.
The conventional implication of being able to write on this topic with authority is that one has found sufficient resources within herself to be an assured expert on the topic and that she should have accomplished at least a modicum of inner peace.
But I do not yet have inner peace. I have some self respect, and I believe I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, but I do not yet have inner peace. I have moments of inner peace, and sometimes even hours, and I’ve even gone for a couple rafts of days with inner peace. But I do not yet have continuous inner peace.
I ask myself if there are other lessons I have to offer under this banner, “ways of being.” I have not so much lessons as meditations that part of reality can take and use in productive ways for itself as it sees fit. I have perhaps 18 months’ worth of daily letters to the universe, this “ways of being” project and I recently completed Phase I of the “Plan for a Kind Ness” project. So there’s lots of material I wish to use in more creative and/or practical ways.
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For a long time now I’ve planned on creating a blog for “The Church of Not Quite So Much Pain & Suffering.” This church is a concept that Smith found. The idea is that many churches have focused way too much on suffering, and that instead, it is better to focus on ways to not suffer so much. The slogan is “go thee, and suffer less.” And there’s a kind of cozy idea behind it as well. I am his beloved Lady in the church, and the church is for our family: me, Smith and Mandy (our cat companion). The concept of this church can extend to everybody but I appreciate the thought of our little loft of love being a church and that it is holy to tend to our immediate companions.
Even though I don’t yet have the graphic design implemented on this website, some feeling compels me to publish on it anyways.
~ Lady